On irony.

In the days of the G8 summit in Heiligendamm, Germany:

Two weeks ago I attended Faithless at Dubai World Trade Center's Za'abeel Hall.
That's the same spot where Dubai hosted the Annual Meetings of the Board of Governors of the World Bank Group and the International Monetary Fund.

Listening to Maxi Jazz chanting "Whether Halliburton, Enron or anyone...Greed is a weapon of mass destruction" took me into thought of the irony that a mere 4 years ago Dr. Wolfensohn (who was later Condi's man to oversee "Israel's" PR-ed withdrawal from Gaza in 2005) was on that similar stage with his entourage knitting financial assistance plans for "impoverished" countries.

"Impoverished" "third-world" countries like Kenya. IMF's
reform policy in this country cost it 10% of its GDP at one point during the days of what led to be the Goldenberg Scandal. Still these policies are used to feed corruption and increase poverty in a resourceful land!

What irony! Would the IMF people with their monetary policies that sent Argentina to economic crisis in 2001 ever thought that Faithless, with their indivualistic hype would host a show from that same spot!

"Whether Halliburton, Enron or anyone
Greed is a weapon of mass destruction
Inaction is a weapon of mass destruction"

New Author in town

A close friend of mine says that the blog is 'full of whining and sarcasm', and he would like to add some entries that would send the blog readers into deep thought. Sounded quite interesting to me, and I'm waiting to see if it actually is. the floor is yours.

I'm 30 minutes late... so what??

Well, I come in 30 minutes late to work, I make my one hour lunch break last half an hour longer, and I get comments like: that was a big lunch or enjoyed your lunch?

Some people are just way too obsessed with time, I'm a person who likes to defy authority, sometimes I think I do it just to see what they're going to say. Nevertheless, regardless of my accomplishments, it seems that people tend to remember me as the guy who is always late. That pisses me off. 30 minutes is not a big deal, especially when I have everything organized and finish the work way before the due date. So why should I come 30 minutes earlier than I have to just to surf the net and check my mails?

I understand that a lot of people working with me are desperate in the sense that if they lose their job they could be on the streets, not to mention that they are now making around 1400% (This is not an exaggeration) more than they were making in their home country (I'm not going to say which country, you will probably guess right). But arent they a little insecure? Can't they be confident that they are working in the organization because they are good at what they do and not because they come in on time just to surf the net.

One person entered the following time on the shared timesheet:

Arrived at 8:47:26

26 SECONDS!! DID HE HAVE TO MENTION THAT. well being who I am , I went and wrote this on my time sheet:

Arrived at 9:35:38:37:25:14

I got a call from HR the next day.

My plan for the coming quarter is to always be on time but never deliver any of my projects on time (even though they are completed), lets see what they prefer.

Shock of the Year

UAE blocks 40% of Internet

United Arab Emirates: 7 hours, 25 minutes ago

Around 40% of the Internet is blocked in the UAE, among the highest in the world, according to Arab Media Group head Abdullatif Al Sayegh. He told delegates at a conference titled Emirates Media Freedom that the solution to what children see should be through education at home, not by monitoring published material, Emirates Today reports.

I'm surprised its only 40! ..In my mind the internet is basically comprised of the following areas:

1% Politics
1% Google
1% Social Websites with no offensive material
1% Social Websites with offensive material
1% WikiPedia
5% YouTube
90%Porn

----------
Truly a shocker... expected something a little >90%.

Hunger Dilemma Part 2

Well.. Just to add strength to my argument on my previous post "Hunger Dilemma", I was walking down Shk. Zayed Road today, when i got stopped by a random lady holding a baby in her hands. Ofcoarse I knew she didn't want directions. She started saplurting the usual arabic phrases that are mostly used for begging:

"I have no money to feed my child, god prolong your life" (Now why would you say that?? I'm really not that keen on living that long).

"Please be generous, god protect you"

I reached out and gave her some money and went on my way...but the real question that I couldn't answer was:

Did she realize that she was poor before or after bringing new life into this world??..New life that has a very bleak chance for a better future.

One word, actually, maybe three : Complete Utter Selfishness.

News of No Use

DUBAI: A man touched a woman’s breasts and pinched her bottom as the pair stood alone in an elevator, a Dubai court heard yesterday. On March 1, 18-year-old JS went to a building in Naif to see a friend. As she waited in the elevator at the building, JS was surprised when ES, 28, pushed in beside her as the doors closed. He then proceeded to ask her where the watchman was, before allegedly touching her breasts. JS said she then pulled her bag up to her chest to prevent it happening again, but as she went to leave she claims ES then touched her bottom. ES denies sexually molesting the woman. The case continues.

Yes.. but please dont tell us what happens, keep us on our toes for a bit

Hunger Dilemma

Some situations always get me thinking. This time it was about a humanitarian cause, which is quite uncommon for a person like me. I was flipping through what is probably one of the worst newspapers that I read on a daily basis (7days) and I came across a picture of a thin, hungry, underpriveliged child. That child was really starving, his head and body were abnormally shaped, truly unfortunate. However it got me thinking?

HOW DHELL DID HE GET HERE? by here i mean, to this world?

With the amount of hungry children that ive seen in newspapers and articles, and charitable organizations, Its quite strange to think that that child's parents are dirt poor and starving, and yet, they still have the energy to have sex. Agreed that they could have sex for fun even though they are starving, but they really can work on controlling the ejaculation. Otherwise, it makes me wonder whether food is really the right resource we should be sending to tackle the hunger problem.. or whether a huge shipment of durex condoms would be a much more effective long term solution to the hunger problems of the world.

Nag Nag Nag ... Dubai Expats (im one of them)

Well.. Every time someone spends a few million dollars on some investment the crowds go wild! What I don't understand is why they go wild?

"$45m on a golf city, what a waste! Save the Dolphins instead!"

"$70m on buying horses for himself, what kind of a person can do that when he knows there are people earning 50 fils an hour and others starving to death in the other end of the earth!"


Stop nagging you nagging naggers. I am willing to bet that you of all people "The Naggers" are going to be one of the first few to try out the Tiger Wood's golf course. Also, I was wondering how many of the naggers actually give to charity.

Contrary to what many people believe, Rich people give the most. So instead of blasting them with hate remarks when they spend some money on something they like. How about some praise when they give more than most of you can ever earn in your entire lifetime.

$70m is quite likely less than 0.1% of his entire wealth. To him, buying 2 horses worth $70m is kinda like buying an LCD screen (which amounts to more than 0.1% of the wealth of an average UAE citizen).. so now tell me, do you think of all the charities, the labour workers, and the humanitarian causes you can contribute to before buying that third TV that you don't need?

I am not a fan of Dubai.. so don't treat me like I'm defending the emirate or the UAE.. I'm just a fan of great business people..If you don't know about business, then please stick to your end of the field.

Al Failaka Islamic Fund awards rival the Nobel Prize awards.

DFSA receives award for innovations in Islamic finance
The Dubai Financial Services Authority (DFSA) is pleased to announce that it has received the Failaka Islamic Fund award for 'Best Contribution of Growth and Development.'

The award was presented to the DFSA by Failaka International at the 2nd Annual Failaka Islamic Funds awards dinner in Dubai, which took place on 2nd April 2007.

This prestigious award recognises the DFSA's contributions to transparency and innovation in Islamic finance.

Failaka International specialises in market research and publication of data for Islamic funds, based the award on DFSA's substantial contributions in enacting a high quality collective investment funds regime during 2006, which selectively incorporates international best practice. The innovative DFSA regime brings a higher degree of transparency to the field of Islamic funds.

Mr. David Knott, Chief Executive of the DFSA, said:


'We are pleased to be recognised for innovations that facilitate the growth of Islamic finance. We will continue to take a leadership role in promoting effective risk-based supervision of the evolving market for Islamic finance, as well as financial services activities more generally. I congratulate our DFSA team members who helped to construct our high quality funds regime.'


After only 1 year of experience and barely any reputation or basis in deriving the winners. The media decided it was right to call a completely meaningless and worthless award " Prestigious".

The Nobel Prize of Economics people better get in touch with those Failaka guys pretty quick, Considering the pace at which it's prestige is moving, it wont be long till they overtake the world's most prestigious economic's award.
Way to go Dubai... one more majorly over-rated achievement.

Tommorow Licence for a better tommorow

The Ras Al Khaimah Department of Economic Development issued yesterday ten new commercial licences locally known as a 'tomorrow licence' that are open only to Emiratis.
The licence allows local nationals to run all types of businesses without the need to rent shops or offices. The holders of the new type of licence will be able to start and run a business from home.

I couldnt stop laughing at the name given to this license "Tommorow license"!! a.ka. "Lasen bacher". Couldn't help but imagine this in my head:

"7assoon: agool 7amood, bkamm hazzi??
7amood: ta3al bachir ya rayyal
7asooon: y'akhi bkamm hayy?
7amoood: ya rayyal , msawyeen tournament winning a7een, ta3al bachir
7asooon: izzen laish fat7ina?
7amoood: ma tshoof il lasen? ism il lasen, lasen Bacher! .. ya3ni ma 2igdar abee3 shayy ilyowm!!.., ta3al it7adani fel winning 11!"

Random thoughts of a Wise Jester

(Britain denied another market rumour yesterday that it had sent troops to free its personnel. "Although it didn't happen this time, people think it could happen," said Christopher Bellew at oil brokers Bache Financial.

US light sweet crude oil rose 2.19 per cent to $64.31 per barrel.)


Why dhell did they call it light sweet crude oil?? Did someone actually taste it??

College Senior Hopes To Turn Love Of Data Entry Into Career

BETHESDA, MD—As she prepares to enter the "dog-eat-dog" business world this summer, computer applications major Lisa Milch, 22, said Monday that she is skeptical she'll be able to parlay her lifelong passion for data entry into gainful employment.


Milch says she "owes it to herself" to follow her data-entry dreams.
"I knew when I chose to work with computers that I'd be facing an uphill battle after graduation," said Milch, a senior at the University of Maryland, as she reordered a list in an Excel spreadsheet. "But when you love numbers and archiving information as much as I do, you have follow your heart and be willing to take a risk, no matter how far-fetched it may be."

Milch said she's always fantasized about working 50 hours a week as a clerk in a medical records department, where the "big-time" information processing and retrieval opportunities are. However, she fears that setting her sights too high could set her up for disappointment in the real world.

"It's definitely a long shot, but I just know I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't even try," Milch said. "It's something I have to do. I owe it to myself."

As early as age 8, Milch displayed an avid interest in quantitative measurement and numeric arrays. A star pupil in her high school business and typing courses, Milch said that a summer principles of information technology class at a nearby DeVry University first sparked her desire for a brilliant career in data entry.

"I know I might be listening to my heart more than my brain here, but something inside me keeps telling me to go for it," Milch said. "I've never wanted to do anything else. I'll take low pay, I'll work under fluorescent light, I'll telecommute if I have to—just let me do what I'm meant to do."

Milch is not alone. Across the country, millions of seniors worry about the difficulties of transferring their personal interests into profitable careers.

Wesleyan University senior Frances Hardwick said she's concerned she won't be able to find employment as a personal assistant even after graduating in the top 10 percent of her class.

"The only thing I've ever wanted is a life of service: taking phone messages, picking up dry cleaning, and getting coffee for the well-off," said Hardwick, who believes she will be in for a "rude awakening" once she is out on her own. "I'm not looking to get rich. All I need is just barely enough money to pay rent."

While these idealists continue to send out resumés and cold call dozens of potential employers, their futures remain uncertain, leaving each of them with the same question: Will the world find a place for my inner callings, or will it crush my deepest dreams?

And for Milch, the waiting game is almost too much to bear.

"Some days, I want to give up on data entry completely," she said. "I sit around wishing I'd win the lottery so I could just take one temp job after another forever."


My Comments:

This reminds me of the song titles "Sweet Dreams" the part that goes, "some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you" . I finally understand what that second part is reffering to.

What's your point dude?

"LOS ANGELES—During a Keep A Child Alive charity auction last Friday, U2 frontman Bono paid $575,000 for a guitar signed by the Irish recording artist, outbidding his nearest competitor by nearly $500,000.

"Not only does this allow me to donate to a cause in which I very deeply believe, but I now own a unique and valuable piece of rock and roll history," said the singer, who also placed the winning bid on a "once-in-a-lifetime" lunch with Bono at $1 million.

Bono reportedly listed the autographed guitar on eBay the next day to raise money for Amnesty International, and within 20 minutes, had placed the highest bid at $750,000."

Keeping the Dream Alive!!

BRECKSVILLE, OH—Citing his ability to score over 100 points when he is "not even trying all that hard," Bernie Grout, 34, announced yesterday his dream of becoming a professional bowler when he grows up. "Ever since I was 27 and I got my first turkey, I fantasized about eventually pursuing this as a career," said Grout, adding that his love of bowling started when he and his father used to go to the OK Alley to "throw the ol' [bowling] ball around" when he was 26. "Just imagine what I could do if I had my own ball and one of those gloves." Grout plans on patiently working hard over the course of the next decade to lose some muscle mass, grow a solid moustache, and give up on all of other dreams, so he can one day "compete on the professional level."

With so many years ahead of him, I suggest you watch out for this guy, the bowling world is in for a treat :P

Really makes U wanna start drumming

Who dhell designed this ride?

Hello, Yes, I just wanted to tell you that I'm indifferent!

Well I was in my car today listening to Dubai 92 FM, Nat was on, She is definately the best DJ , in terms of actual DJ'ing.. she puts on the best songs, has wonderful taste, thats enough for me.. today she had a competition going.. She played a song by a band called "The Twang!" and she asked people to call in and tell her their opinoin of the band... and it could only be 3 choices..whether you like them, you don't like them, or you're indifferent.. Now as soon as I heard that last option, I couldn't help but crack up... I just couldn't help imagining a guy call in and say

"Ermm, Yea, I am Indifferent to this band!, thanks, bye"!!

I am a largely indifferent person.. and if there's one thing an indifferent person won't do , its to voice their opinions of indifference, otherwise that wouldnt really make them indifferent would it? !

Our Deepest Fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.....You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world....We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us......it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

by Marianne Williams

Why Oh Why?

Lots of unanswered questions that make you sit and wonder in amazement :

1- Do you think that cannibals might not eat clowns because they taste funny?

2- How is a civil war a "civil war"?

3- If you actually try to fail and succeeded at it, which one did you do?

4- Since the "Black Box" in plane never gets destroyed. Why dont they make the whole damn plane out of that crap?

5- Check out this new security scheme. Have your carpenter attach three locks to
your door and lock every other one when you leave the house. That way, the theif would always be locking one of the three locks.

6- Would you kill an endangered animal that is chewing on an endangered plant?

7- I wonder if they would call a wingless fly a "walk"

8-Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

9-How come you don't sneeze when you're sleeping?

10-Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

11-Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?

12- Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

13- If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

14 Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Random thoughts of a Wise Jester

Two days ago, it was Valentines... Walking around the city everyone could see the symbol of love everywhere you looked. There were heart-shaped boxes, heart shaped chocolates, heart cushions, heart candy, heart earrings, heart necklaces, even a poor guy who had to walk around in a heart shaped thingy.

As I was looking all around me at all these hearts , I entered into my usual cycle of deep useless thoughts, and started to wonder how? How did they..?

well what I was thinking can be best portrayed through graphical images:



Okay.. this is what we know as the Heart... the symbol of Love.. but how'd hell did they come up with this weird shape...It looks nothing like a real human heart!!??
lets take a look at a real live human heart :



How they managed to stare at the human heart and find a way to market it as a symbol of love by transforming it into the conventional heart that we all know... thats just genious!!

you only want what everybody else says you should want

The title says it all

This is what the author of "unleash the power within" was talking about

"What this power is I cannot say, all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it"

Alexander Graham Bell

Why Arabs dont get Visa's to the US

> >A Sa3idi (person from Upper Egypt) was interviewed at the US Embassy for a
> >U.S.A Visa:
> >
> >Consul : What is your name ?
> >
> >Arab : Haridy
> >Consul : Sex ?
> >Arab : Six to ten times a week
> >Consul: I mean , male or female ?
> >Arab : Both male and female and sometimes
> > even camel
> >
> >Consul : Holy cow!
> >Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too !!!!
> >Consul : Man !........isn't it hostile ?
> >Arab : Horse style , dog style , any style
> >Consul : Oh..........dear !
> >Arab : Deer ? No deer, they run too fast !

Some situations just dont have a Silver Lining!

Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut
off from his penis after his mistress found the ring in his pants pocket
and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep.

I don't know what's worse:
1) having your mistress find out you're married.
2) explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

Quote of the Day: "Drink Coffee, cut your nails, and sing, it is the only road to success" by Will Nasr

Okay, im a quote freak... I subsribed to this quote service that sends me quotes on a daily basis to my email account. I love to read them, they just put me back on track.. give me some hope when the day has taken a lot of that out of me.. they get me thinking about different perspectives...sometimes even put a smile on my face, Here are a few samples:

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn’t require any.
Russell Baker

Can you really explain to a fish what it's like to walk on land?
One day on land is worth a thousand years of talking about it,
and one day running a business has exactly the same kind
of value.
::: Warren Buffett :::


Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
::: John F. Kennedy :::


Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure.
Only the paranoid survive. (just love this one)
::: Andy Grove :::

A warrior of light who trusts too much in his intelligence
will end up underestimating the power of his opponent.
::: Paulo Coelho :::

But... sometimes they send me a really SHIT quote that i dont know what to do with?!!
Today for instance, i got this quote in my mail and i stared at it, and yelled loudly in the office, "WHAT IS THIS STUPID PERSON ON ABOUT?" ... I can undoubtedly get a better quote from wisdom that comes out of a 4 year old child's mouth than this... Well i'm sure you all want to know what this glamorous quote is , well here you go:



"
Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made,
like bread: remade all the time, made new.
::: Og Mandino ::: "


NO COMMENT!

Unforgiven

I just couldn't hold it,nobody will understand that I reallly had to, there were no options left for me.. but the only thing that was going through my head was " What if the police get me, what will I tell them, how will they react?" Questions to which no answers could be found.. I took a deep breath, cleared my head, and then made my decision. I kicked the door open, closed it behind me.. did everything as planned.. I then ran back out.. there were 2 people there, staring at me like i just killed their dads...shaking their heads at me in dismay... I couldn't work up the courage to look them in the face..I made eye contact with the floor until I was clear of the parameter.. I felt a lot better, although i had a tingle of guilt, the feeling of relief mostly won over.

I woke up the next day, however, and the relief had vanished, all that was left was a feeling of selfishness, bitterness, and anguish. I just couldn't live with that, I went straight ahead to the police station, and set my soul free . This is what I said:

"Officer, I am a criminal
I must be braught to justice,
I am terribly apologetic,
but sometimes the devil gets the best of you,
Please please, let me pay the price
whatever it may be
for I used the disabled toilet booth!!"


My Comments:

Inspired by wondering why you get your ass kicked if you park your car in a disabled parking spot, but absolutely nothin' if you park your ass in a disabled toilet seat:P

Undo

Inspired by the amazing working conditions that were offered to me by the worldwide Multi and International company we all know as KPMG. This poem/song is called "UNDO" :


sitting in the hot seat
taking the heat for someone else's fuck up
I goto get back to my old ways
even though i know i was stuck up
but hell it beats being a slave
going through life not knowing what u want
its like you're stuck in a maze
atleast back then i had a personality
i was full of energy and people respected me
now i stare angrily, im full of hostile rage
im like a vicious tiger that's been trapped in a cage
and they wonder why the crime rate's so damn high
i could just kill any random guy that passes me by
I think im still too young for this shit
I think i deserve to enjoy life just a little bit
instead im just beatin around getting kicked
oh what i wouldn't give to get out of this ditch
I work on excel all day and press the undo button
when things aren't okay
I wish i had that button today.. i would just
undo my whole life away ...
start on a clean sheet and work as a waiter in a bar
living on tips and smoking half smoked cigars
instead im stuck in an office with a suit
with a bunch of faggots telling me what to do
oh undo button.. where'd fuck are you!!